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Wrestling failure – slowly coming to understand its treasures

May 16, 2010

‘Suffering makes us deeply aware of our own inability. It takes away our power; we lose control. The light of our eyes can see nothing. Now it is only the inner light in the eye of the soul that can help you to travel this sudden, foreign landscape. Here we slowly come to a new understanding of failure. We do not like to fail. We are uncomfortable in looking back on our old failures. Yet failure is often the place where suffering has left the most precious gifts.’

Eternal Echoes, John O’Donohue

Having dusted off, John O’Donohue’s book Eternal Echoes and written some about it a couple of days ago, I was leafing through it again today. There is such a wealth of wisdom in this book some thoughts are sad, others joyful, most are a result of deep reflection and compassionate, sensitive articulation. The above quotation caught my eye, among others, and I thought I’d cite it for little more reason than I think it’s beautiful and maybe someone who is questioning the value of their life will read it and feel encouraged. A kind of internet message in a bottle.

I like the first words of the citation especially:

‘Suffering makes us deeply aware of our own inability.’

This is such a hard lesson to come to terms with never mind embrace, but it is an absolutely necessary one and precious gift if we can accept it and receive it in the spirit it has been offered to us by ultimate reality. Suffering is that valuable reminder that we are not eternal, at least not in the sense that the Divine is. God may have ‘placed eternity in our hearts’ and there may be an eternal element of our souls, even our redeemed and future resurrected bodies…but, unlike God eternity is not for us the natural state of our existence.

Rather, we are finite.

We are mortal.

We will come to an end.

Grappling with this element of our vocation, an aspect that is common to all human life, indeed all physical life, has been one of the great battles of human history, of political, artistic and religious life. Yet, if we can not just grapple with this spiritual messenger, like Jacob and the angel at Peniel, in the book of Genesis in the Bible (Genesis 32: 22-32), but actually receive it into our lives, then its painful lesson can sweeten our existence. The wounding, yet paradoxically healing message the struggle brings will help our lives to be transformed. We will receive a new start, a new identity. In the terminology of ancient cultures we will be given a new name. Not merely any name, but rather a better name – a name that reflects and sparkles with our true nature and inspires our highest achievement.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3a/Lutte_de_Jacob_avec_l%27Ange.jpg

The ancient texts of the Bible discuss this paradoxical relationship with suffering in many places and yet, perhaps non is so vivid in its physical and poetic imagery than the story of Jacob. In the Biblical story, Jacob whose name means ‘deceiver’ (literally ‘he who grasps the heal’) had earlier in his youth stolen his brother’s birthright, when he tricked his father into blessing him (Jacob) rather than the rightful heir in tribal law the eldest son, Esau. Later in the narrative, Jacob is an older, more mature man, one who has personally experienced suffering, deceit and trickery himself at the hands of others, mostly in the employment of his cunning uncle Laban. In chapter 32 of the story, Jacob is now wealthy with two wives children, servants and cattle. It is at this point that he has to come terms with the real consequences of his youthful betrayal of his brother, as Esau and his band of warriors ride towards Jacob and his family’s caravan.

Aware of the wrong he committed as a young man, Jacob internally faces death as he contemplates what will happen when he meets his long-lost brother. It is in these circumstances: of contemplating his guilt and shameful failure of character with the prospect of ultimate punishment looming ever closer, as well as considering the harm that might be done to his family too, the innocent ones whom he loves, that Jacob comes face to face with God in a most intimate encounter. They literally wrestle each other.

The Bible tells the story this way:

Genesis 32:22-32 (NIV): Jacob Wrestles With God

That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”
But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

The man asked him, “What is your name?”
”Jacob,” he answered.

Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome.”

Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”
But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.

So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”

The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip. Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob’s hip was touched near the tendon.

Jacob – the deceiver – like many of us fights God’s presence in his life, difficult, uncomfortable and afflicting, like physical combat with a wrestler, until he is wounded at the hip and faces his ultimate inability to overcome God. He has been, however, tenacious and utterly determined to win, to literally earn a blessing this time from the Divine messanger…and he does. He becomes Israel, ‘He who wrestles with God’. The stigmatizing label of deceiver(Jacob) is removed and a brand new, sparkling identity of a God Wrestler is stamped into his spirit and soul.

Yet, lest Israel forget the difficult process that led to this new name and new level of vocation, he is physically wounded. His hip is dislocated. From now on, he, Jacob, Israel will walk with a limp. It is this limp, I believe, this reminder of hard-won successes and their intertwining with personal failures that characterise the mature disciple of Christ. It is also the sign of the weathered, seasoned, spiritual pilgrim of whatever tradition she or he may be a part of. The great nineteenth century theologian and scholar of religion, Frederich Schleiermacher, (sometimes frowned upon in Evangelical circles), described religion as a sense of ultimate dependency on the Infinite. Perhaps, it is only through suffering and the persistent physical putting into practice of the desire to seek the Divine face and blessing, that we can truly become aware of our own ultimate inability…and thus… our need for… and dependency on God.

Posted in Art/Pop Art, Journal, Journies, Life, Literature, Psychology, Spirituality | Tagged angel, depence, dependency, Eternal Echoes, Face of God, failure, identity, Jacob, John o'Donohue, journey, love, new life, new name, pain, redemption, Schleiermacher, spiritual, Spirituality, suffering, transformation, wrestling | Leave a Comment »

Cold Desert – raw, lonely, pure, beautiful

May 6, 2010

Cold Desert lyrics
Songwriters: Followill, Caleb; Followill, Jared; Followill, Matthew; Followill, Nathan;

I’m on the corner waiting for a light to come on
That’s when I know that you’re alone
It’s cold in the desert, water never sees the ground
Special unspoken without sound

Told me you love me, that I’d never die alone
Hand over your heart, let’s go home
Everyone noticed, everyone has seen the signs
I’ve always been known to cross lines

I never ever cried when I was feeling down
I’ve always been scared of the sound
Jesus don’t love me, no one ever carried my load
I’m too young to feel this old

Here’s to you, here’s to me
On to us, nobody knows
Nobody sees, nobody but me

Just listening to the Kings of Leon album Only By the Night on the CD player in the car. I love this album, which I would rate as one of my all time favourites. The whole album has a dark, moody and raw emotional feel to it. It’s the kind of new postmodern rock that just permeates your skin and bones and seems to speak directly to your heart, only after it has reached the black inner chamber of your secret emotions does it resurface to enter your mind and stimulate ones thoughts and imagination. There are loads of good songs on the album, including Sex on fire, Use Somebody, Crawl, Revelry, Be Somebody and the final track on the album is the one I have quoted and tagged above Cold Desert.

I don’t know what the artists mean – the song writers and musicians – at least not specifically regarding the details of the events and lives that inspired the creation of this beautiful and haunting piece of music. For me it’s just one of those songs that catches me unawares when it comes on the CD player in the car. It works like a ‘magic’ key that opens the door to my soul for a few moments. Like a charm, the song opens up the dark recesses of my heart and says to my hidden emotions – “You may be unwelcome in the light and that’s why you have been shut away in the darkness, but right now…you are part of something larger, more humane. You are a amongst a kind of community, where the pain, anguish, confusion, disillusionment, abandonment and grief are all welcome to come out the cellar and feel the warmth of shared human love and lament, as expressed through music.”

Yeah, thanks, that’s how I feel sometimes. Bless you.

Posted in Art/Pop Art, Journal, Journies, Life, Literature, Music, Psychology, Spirituality | Tagged art, beauty, contemplation, Darkness, desert, emotions, emptiness, grief, hope, Kings of Leon, loneliness, loss, love, music, pain, poetry, rock, song, spiritual, Spirituality | 2 Comments »

The Power of Less – Blogging, living and monasticism

May 6, 2010

I have recently spent a lot of time considering what I want to do with my life and perhaps, more importantly how I should go about it. One of the recent developments in my life that has inspired and encouraged me to find work in this field has been writing this blog. I have always enjoyed communicating in general and writing specifically. It’s also something where people at different times in my life have told me that I have a knack for using words. It’s pretty fortunate that I have this ‘knack’ as my other skills can often seem somewhat limited!

Yet writing my blog has become a challenge in itself. Attempting to write interesting, thought-provoking, useful and stimulating posts sometimes comes naturally, but at other times it feels like a punishing drag – each letter of each word being engraved seemingly individually into the granite hard ether of web space - destined (possibly!)to be ignored or at best casually flipped upon and quickly dismissed. Moreover, this sense of being gunged up as a writer can feel seemingly exagerated by the lack of verbal response from readers. Even a short, but heartfelt and relevant comment can make a big difference to an aspiring writer!

Still the greatest challenges I feel are inward, not external ones. One dissident of the former Romanian Communist regime, who had suffered many years of incarceration in prison and persecution during the brutal years of Communist rule, was once asked shortly before his death, with respect to his difficult life experiences whether he had any enemies? To which he replied, ” No, I don’t. I have no enemies…only myself.”

This insight seems as true about the writing life as it is about the spiritual pilgrimmage…our greatest and most persistent adversary is usually our self.

Abraham's Oak Russian Holy Trinity Monastery (Photo courtesy of CopperKettle licensed under Wikimedia Creative Commons)

One of the themes of Dark Nights White Soul that keeps cropping up in my thinking, feeling and writing is the simplicity of the contemplative and monastic life. I feel increasingly drawn, not to sexual celibacy, but to the quietude and purity of this spiritual tradition. It offers, perhaps especially to post-modern people soaked in a hyper technological world, an existence that provides firm, yet flexible, natural boundaries. Monasticism offers limitations not as obstacles to pleasure, but as the real pathway to true happiness, personal peace and joy. Such simple and ‘holy’ practices encourage me to make important choices today about what I will do with my life, both in the macroscopic ideals of my career and vocation in the future, but also to the microscopic details of practical, everyday living in the present.

I lay down this evening to read and pray feeling frustrated and burdened by the multiplicity of tasks I have made myself and my lack of concrete progress in achieving any one of them. As I lay quietly in my room reflecting a book came to mind that I picked up a few months ago from Waterstones called The Power of Less - The 6 Essential Productivity Principles that will change your life by Leo Babauta.

I’m just going to quote a couple of lines from his opening introductory chapter:

‘…the simplicity I seek in my life is simplicity in what I do.

Do less, not more, but achieve more because of the choices I make.

Simplicity boils down to two steps:

Identify the essential.
Eliminate the rest.’

The Power of Less, Leo Babauta, page IX

Posted in Journal, Journies, Life, Literature, Psychology | Tagged blogging, contemplation, eliminate, essential, Leo Babauta, Life, lifestyle, modern life, monasticism, New Monasticism, Orthodox, orthodoxy, peace, Post modern, quiet, silence, simplicity, simplify, spiritual, Spirituality, The Power of Less, vocation, writing | 4 Comments »

Listening to the quiet, burning desire to be authentic

April 24, 2010

I found this poem at the beginning of a book on aesthetics (the study of beauty). It struck me as a very modern poem and yet I have discovered it was written in the mid-eighteen hundreds. Still, it speaks to me deeply of the importance and discipline of listening to and paying careful attention to one’s inner feelings and thoughts. Both of which can easily be suffocated and suppressed by a relentless, unseen pressure to conform to what we perceive to be the standards of our culture and society.

Light flows our war of mocking words, and yet,
Behold, with tears mine eyes are wet!
I feel a nameless sadness o’er me roll.
Yes, yes, we know that we can jest,
We know, we know that we can smile!
But there’s a something in this breast,
To which thy light words bring no rest,
And thy gay smiles no anodyne.
Give me thy hand, and hush awhile,
And turn those limpid eyes on mine, 10
And let me read there, love! thy inmost soul.

Alas! is even love too weak
To unlock the heart, and let it speak?
Are even lovers powerless to reveal
To one another what indeed they feel?
I knew the mass of men conceal’d
Their thoughts, for fear that if reveal’d
They would by other men be met
With blank indifference, or with blame reproved;
I knew they lived and moved 20
Trick’d in disguises, alien to the rest
Of men, and alien to themselves–and yet
The same heart beats in every human breast!

But we, my love!–doth a like spell benumb
Our hearts, our voices?–must we too be dumb?

Ah! well for us, if even we,
Even for a moment, can get free
Our heart, and have our lips unchain’d;
For that which seals them hath been deep-ordain’d!

Fate, which foresaw 30
How frivolous a baby man would be–
By what distractions he would be possess’d,
How he would pour himself in every strife,
And well-nigh change his own identity–
That it might keep from his capricious play
His genuine self, and force him to obey
Even in his own despite his being’s law,
Bade through the deep recesses of our breast
The unregarded river of our life
Pursue with indiscernible flow its way; 40
And that we should not see
The buried stream, and seem to be
Eddying at large in blind uncertainty,
Though driving on with it eternally.

But often, in the world’s most crowded streets,
But often, in the din of strife,
There rises an unspeakable desire
After the knowledge of our buried life;
A thirst to spend our fire and restless force
In tracking out our true, original course;                        50
A longing to inquire
Into the mystery of this heart which beats
So wild, so deep in us–to know
Whence our lives come and where they go.
And many a man in his own breast then delves,
But deep enough, alas! none ever mines.
And we have been on many thousand lines,
And we have shown, on each, spirit and power;
But hardly have we, for one little hour,
Been on our own line, have we been ourselves–            60
Hardly had skill to utter one of all
The nameless feelings that course through our breast,
But they course on for ever unexpress’d.
And long we try in vain to speak and act
Our hidden self, and what we say and do
Is eloquent, is well–but ’tis not true!
And then we will no more be rack’d
With inward striving, and demand
Of all the thousand nothings of the hour
Their stupefying power;                                                70
Ah yes, and they benumb us at our call!
Yet still, from time to time, vague and forlorn,
From the soul’s subterranean depth upborne
As from an infinitely distant land,
Come airs, and floating echoes, and convey
A melancholy into all our day.

Only–but this is rare–
When a beloved hand is laid in ours,
When, jaded with the rush and glare
Of the interminable hours, 80
Our eyes can in another’s eyes read clear,
When our world-deafen’d ear
Is by the tones of a loved voice caress’d–
A bolt is shot back somewhere in our breast,
And a lost pulse of feeling stirs again.
The eye sinks inward, and the heart lies plain,
And what we mean, we say, and what we would, we know.
A man becomes aware of his life’s flow,
And hears its winding murmur; and he sees
The meadows where it glides, the sun, the breeze. 90

And there arrives a lull in the hot race
Wherein he doth for ever chase
That flying and elusive shadow, rest.
An air of coolness plays upon his face,
And an unwonted calm pervades his breast.
And then he thinks he knows
The hills where his life rose,
And the sea where it goes.

Matthew Arnold, The buried life, (1852)

Posted in Art/Pop Art, Journal, Journies, Life, Literature, Psychology, Spirituality | Tagged authentic, authenticity, beauty, God, hope, listening, literature, Matthew Arnold, Poem, poetry, purity, quiet, relationships, simplicity, sincerity, soul, spiritual, Spirituality, stillness | 1 Comment »

‘We simply went out looking for the lost and the dying’ – Spiritual Temperaments (6 of 9): Caring for the poor and marginalised

April 23, 2010

“Caregivers serve God by serving others. They often claim to see Christ in the poor and needy, and their faith is built up by interacting with other people. Such (people) may find the devotional lives of contemplatives and enthusiasts as selfish. Whereas caring for others might wear many of us down, this recharges a caregiver’s batteries.”

Sacred Pathways, Gary Thomas, Page 27

I have been wondering about how to write this section on spiritual temperaments as I personally struggle with giving physical care to others in need, although I find prayer, contemplation, sensuous worship and being out in nature, natural, spiritual responses for me. I do care about the poor and needy though and when I can, I attempt to chat and listen to homeless people who are selling magazines such as The Big Issue ( a magazine started in the late 80s/early 90s in Britain to help homeless people provide for themselves). Still such random, small acts of humanity seem like crumbs compared to the banquets real care-givers provide for the weak, poor and marginalised.

Since being a teenager, I have always liked the earthy, salty and fiery common sense teachings of the writer of the Book of James in the New Testament. I always love the following phrase which is set in the context of not just listening to the ‘word’ (or new teaching of Jesus), but doing it. James seems to encapsulate the heart of the Christian message, as do so many caregivers:

²⁶If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. ²⁷Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

James 1:26-27

Those words inspire me:

²⁷Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress…

Oh yes, let it be so!

Thomas uses the example of Mother Teresa in his book – a supreme model of self-giving and caring for the oppressed and poverty-stricken ordinary people of India, whose example has led to the setting up of convents and missionary works to minister to the poor across the globe. An extraordinary woman and an extraordinary Christian, whose work today is carried out by many more beautiful and humble servants of God and of suffering people.

However, the people who come to my mind are still alive today and have established an amazing ministry in Mozambique, with influence across the world. They have experienced many signs, wonders, visions and miracles while working with some of the poorest most unfortunate and weakest of society – abandoned children and orphans – in a country which was and still is, I believe, one of the poorest in the whole world.

How have they done it? Well, to be honest I really don’t know how to describe their work adequately in words, but you can read more about their mission and work in Mozambique at the following web-address:

http://www.irismin.org/p/background.php

I also wholeheartedly commend the book There is Always Enough - The Story of Rolland and Heidi Baker’s miraculous ministry among the poor by Rolland and Heidi Baker, Sovereign World Ltd. I think it may have been republished simply as Always Enough.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/There-Always-Enough-Miraculous-Mozambique/dp/1852402873/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1272051122&sr=1-1

The Bakers’ story is heartbreaking and awe inspiring in the wonderful progress they have made and continue to make with the poor children and people of Mozambique. A lot of it is difficult to believe that such good things could be done by ‘ordinary’ human beings with the help of God. The testimonies, however, are breathtaking and heart warming as the weak are touched in the kindest ways by the love of God, are healed and transformed. It’s a wonderful read and a wonderful example of what practical caring for the poor, as well as powerful intimacy and worship of God through Jesus can do in this broken, but beautiful world.

I would like to finish with just a few quotations from Always Enough :

‘There still wasn’t much at Chihango (this was the state orphanage taken over temporarily by the Bakers on arriving in Mozambique) for the children. Their rooms were bare, picked clean by thieves. They slept on the cement floor with no sheets, pillows or even mats. There was absolutely nothing in their rooms. They had no extra clothes other than those on their backs. They had no possessions of any kind. Many of them needed medical attention. Some were missing limbs from land mine explosions.

I bought the children their first cups and plates. For years they had eaten out of troughs and drunk under faucets. we brought toothbrushes. We repaired a bakery that had been built years ago at Chihango and started baking seven hundred loaves a day, for us and for sale in town. We cleaned the septic tanks, installed wiring and painted walls. We hauled beans and rice from South Africa in a used army trailer. We assumed total responsibility for the centre’s administration and funding. It had been treated as a correctional institution for problem street children, but we turned it into a gospel centre for desperate and unwanted children of any kind. We simply went out looking for the lost and the dying.’

There is Always Enough, Rolland and Heidi Baker, page 41

Posted in Journal, Journies, Life, politics, Psychology, Spirituality | Tagged care giving, caring, Christ, Christianity, compassion, God, Heidi Baker, hope, Iris Ministries, Jesus, Jesus hands, Life, love, missionaries, missionary, Mother Teresa, Mozambique, new life, orphans, poverty, Rolland Baker, Sacred pathways, Spiritual Temperaments, Spirituality | Leave a Comment »

Keeping Quiet

April 23, 2010

Keeping Quiet

by Pablo Neruda

Now we will count to twelve

and we will all keep still.

This one time upon the earth,

let’s not speak any language,

let’s stop for one second,

and not move our arms so much.

It would be a delicious moment,

without hurry, without locomotives,

all of us would be together

in a sudden uneasiness.

The fishermen in the cold sea

would do no harm to the whales

and the peasant gathering salt

would look at his torn hands.

Those who prepare green wars,

wars of gas, wars of fire,

victories without survivors,

would put on clean clothing

and would walk alongside their brothers

in the shade, without doing a thing.

What I want shouldn’t be confused

with final inactivity:

life alone is what matters,

I want nothing to do with death.

If we weren’t unanimous

about keeping our lives so much in motion,

If we could do nothing for once,

perhaps a great silence would

interrupt this sadness,

this never understanding ourselves

and threatening ourselves with death,

perhaps the earth is teaching us

when everything seems to be dead

and then everything is alive.

Now I will count to twelve

and you keep quiet and I’ll go.

From Full Woman, Fleshly Apple, Hot Moon

Translated by Stephen Mitchell

I was just riding again in the woods this afternoon and these words of the Chilean poet, Pablo Neruda came to mind, about stillness and quiet…

‘If we could do nothing for once,

perhaps a great silence would

interrupt this sadness,

this never understanding ourselves

and threatening ourselves with death,

perhaps the earth is teaching us

when everything seems to be dead

and then everything is alive.’

As I began my ride, I tried to ride quietly softly through the woods. There was such calm and peace in the woods. My bike gently rolled along the mulchy, sandy paths. The tires make a reassuring soft hum as they traverse the gravel. My ears register the strange quiet in the woods. It is of course, broken from time to time by the distant sound of cars passing on a ring road outside the park, or the frightened rustling of a startled squirrel, or the sweet, chirps and whistles of birds singing above. But above all I am struck by the silence. It is so quiet that I feel that I can actually hear the wood speaking to me. Speaking not through words, but through silence, quiet, peace, the breathing of the forest as I gently rumble through it, a visitor, who comes from outside the wood. Yet, a human who feels at home in the woods fresh air, forest aromas, fragmented light and peaceful green foliage.

I feel that the woods welcome me. They welcome me into their world of natural growth, not forced, not planned or deliberate, simply the response of living things to an environment of water, warmth, wind, soil and light. Here in the woods things grow, live and die, They don’t try to influence you to be something else, something better or more worthy, or more correct than you are…they are simply quiet – the fresh air and clean fragrances, the silence simply welcomes you. The woods invite you to take part in the rest from plans or agendas, projects and sales, shopping and winning, competing to beat our neighbour, colleague or friend. There is no competition, just the ebb and flow of death and life. We all will die, the question is will we actually live.

I am embraced by the wood - first and foremost, it’s simple, pure silence. I die for a moment to myself. For a few seconds I return the embrace and breath in and out the quiet and fresh air. I am nobody. I am nobody special. Simply, a very lucky man…who gets to ride his bike in the woods on a sunny afternoon. Yet, it is a welcome relief. Here in the woods there is nobody to impress or convince of my worthiness. I need be absolutely no one. I am no one important and yet…the silence of the wood seems to welcome me. She welcomes me …as me…as David…as the wounded young man with a history, that I am. A man with a history…yet, all that which the world and society weighs and measures…seems to mean nothing in the forest. Here is just me and the woods. Nothing else matters…just be quiet, David.

Just be quiet … still … listen … to the silence.

Posted in Art/Pop Art, Journal, Journies, Life, Literature, Nature, Psychology, Spirituality | Tagged bike riding, Keeping Quiet, Life, mountain bikes, new life, Pablo Neruda, peace, Poem, poetry, quiet, silence, Spirituality, woods | Leave a Comment »

Spiritual Temperaments – Activists energised by struggling for justice (5 of 9)

April 20, 2010

“Activists serve a God of justice, and their favourite Scripture is often the account of Jesus cleansing the temple…Activists may adopt either social or evangelistic causes, but they find their home in the rough-and-tumble world of confrontation. They are energised more by interaction with others, even in conflict, than by being alone or in small groups.”

Sacred Pathways, Gary Thomas, Page 26

When I think of activists, I think of the charities and social campaign groups, such as Greenpeace, Oxfam, The Children’s Society, Christian Aid, (C.A.P.) Christians Against Poverty, Amnesty International etc. The people who work for these organisations are tireless in campaigning for social and/or environmental justice in our country, but also in other nations across the globe.

Greenpeace is one charitable organisation that often makes me think and question the selfishness of my 21st Century consumer-driven lifestyle. These environmental activists campaign for ordinary people, politicians and big-businesses to stop abusing the natural world and to take better care of the living organisms of the earth’s bio-sphere.

Deforestation in Amazon rainforest

Recently they campaigned against Nestle using palm oil in their chocolate bars, such as Kit Kat. It took the careful attention, boundless energy and concerted efforts of activists at Greenpeace to highlight for the public the devastatingly negative consequences of a large chocolate manufacturer purchasing palm oil from South East Asia, where rainforests are being torn down to grow featureless miles upon miles of palm oil plants. As a consequence, the natural inhabitants of the rainforests such as Orangutans are being slaughtered through the deforestation process. It’s a chilling connection, which few of us would make where it not for the efforts of Greenpeace and other environmentalists’ activism.

Environmental activism is just one form of campaigning which those people who have an activist spiritual temperament might participate in. For me, although organisations such as Greenpeace have no particular religious affiliation, their dedicated work to alerting peoples’ attentions to the cruelty of modern exploitative, ‘developmental’ processes towards many animals, fish, sea mammals, birds, plants and other natural creatures is part of God’s mandate to humanity, as recorded at the beginning of the Bible:

Genesis 1 (The Message)

Heaven and Earth

^1-2First this: God created the Heavens and Earth—all you see, all you don’t see. Earth was a soup of nothingness, a bottomless emptiness, an inky blackness. God’s Spirit brooded like a bird above the watery abyss.

^3-5 God spoke: “Light!”
      And light appeared.
   God saw that light was good
      and separated light from dark.
   God named the light Day,
      he named the dark Night.
   It was evening, it was morning—
   Day One.

^6-8 God spoke: “Sky! In the middle of the waters;
      separate water from water!”
   God made sky.
   He separated the water under sky
      from the water above sky.
   And there it was:
      he named sky the Heavens;
   It was evening, it was morning—
   Day Two.

^9-10 God spoke: “Separate!
      Water-beneath-Heaven, gather into one place;
   Land, appear!”
      And there it was.
   God named the land Earth.
      He named the pooled water Ocean.
   God saw that it was good.

^11-13 God spoke: “Earth, green up! Grow all varieties
      of seed-bearing plants,
   Every sort of fruit-bearing tree.”
      And there it was.
   Earth produced green seed-bearing plants,
      all varieties,
   And fruit-bearing trees of all sorts.
      God saw that it was good.
   It was evening, it was morning—
   Day Three.

^14-15 God spoke: “Lights! Come out!
      Shine in Heaven’s sky!
   Separate Day from Night.
      Mark seasons and days and years,
   Lights in Heaven’s sky to give light to Earth.”
      And there it was.

^16-19 God made two big lights, the larger
      to take charge of Day,
   The smaller to be in charge of Night;
      and he made the stars.
   God placed them in the heavenly sky
      to light up Earth
   And oversee Day and Night,
      to separate light and dark.
   God saw that it was good.
   It was evening, it was morning—
   Day Four.

^20-23 God spoke: “Swarm, Ocean, with fish and all sea life!
      Birds, fly through the sky over Earth!”
   God created the huge whales,
      all the swarm of life in the waters,
   And every kind and species of flying birds.
      God saw that it was good.
   God blessed them: “Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Ocean!
      Birds, reproduce on Earth!”
   It was evening, it was morning—
   Day Five.

^24-25 God spoke: “Earth, generate life! Every sort and kind:
      cattle and reptiles and wild animals—all kinds.”
   And there it was:
      wild animals of every kind,
   Cattle of all kinds, every sort of reptile and bug.
      God saw that it was good.

^26-28 God spoke: “Let us make human beings in our image, make them
      reflecting our nature
   So they can be responsible for the fish in the sea,
      the birds in the air, the cattle,
   And, yes, Earth itself,
      and every animal that moves on the face of Earth.”
   God created human beings;
      he created them godlike,
   Reflecting God’s nature.
      He created them male and female.
   God blessed them:
      ”Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge!
   Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air,
      for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth.”

^29-30 Then God said, “I’ve given you
      every sort of seed-bearing plant on Earth
   And every kind of fruit-bearing tree,
      given them to you for food.
   To all animals and all birds,
      everything that moves and breathes,
   I give whatever grows out of the ground for food.”
      And there it was.

³¹ God looked over everything he had made;
      it was so good, so very good!
   It was evening, it was morning—
   Day Six.

I like Eugene Peterson’s translation of this ancient, ancient passage of the Bible from the beginnings of the Hebrew Scriptures. Peterson channels something of the creative energy and joy that Jews, Christians, Muslims especially believe took place at the beginnings of the Universe and formation of the Earth, so many eons ago.

Peterson is also careful to translate the word which for hundreds of years was translated as ‘have dominion over’ in the King James Version of the Bible, as ‘be responsible for’. Some may argue over the linguistic accuracy, yet from what we know now from science and environmental studies that humanity has used the mandate to have dominion over nature purely to exploit and capitalise upon it, bringing the planet ever closer to complete destruction that surely God’s intention was for human beings to care and steward for nature, not rape it for personal profit.

Activists may often make us feel unease in our comfortable lifestyles, when they draw our attentions off material gain and succeeding according to society’s materialistic goals, and instead point to the needless suffering and agony in the world due to humanity’s inherent selfishness and greed. However, they are some of the prophets of our generation and their sobering message is a very much-needed in a culture of ‘me’ orientated hedonism.

Posted in Journal, Journies, Life, Nature, politics, Spirituality | Tagged Activism, activists, Amnesty International, campaigner, CAP, Christians Against Poverty, creation, deforestation, environementalism, environment, environmentalist, Gary Thomas, Genesis, God, Greenpeace, Nature, nestle, orangutan, Oxfam, prophet, rainforest, Sacred pathways, social justice, Spirituality | Leave a Comment »

Designing Banner Art: Creativity + Collaboration

April 19, 2010

…………………………………………………………………………………………

How does one create web-banner art?

By having a go. Jumping in at the deep end. Getting imaginative and visionary ideas out in rough on paper. That is creatively.

Then finding someone who really knows their craft and is willing to work with you to put your designs into a finished product. That is collaboratively.

The banner displayed on the Dark Nights White Soul weblog took shape over various stages and was finally completed through the artistic work of Manchester based illustrator, Jim Boswell.

The design first took shape in my mind with certain features being representative of key values or ideas that I wanted to discuss in the blog. Although I can draw rather amateurishly, I decided to search the internet for images that could be icons of the ideas in my mind and to try to make a make-shift composite with a little bit of help from my computer. The first draft looked like this:

The first draft of ideas together

After finding these images and putting them together in a cut and paste composite with no more tools than those available on my Windows Vista Word programme. The image had to be adjusted in Adobe Photoshop to fit the 200 x 700 pixel size of the blog banner’s space in the theme. The result was this:

The original draft design reduced to 200x 700 pixel dimensions

I was pretty happy with this design, but felt something was definitely missing. A good friend with an artistic eye told me that the picture needed colour, not just monochrome black and white. My own mind sensed that although the image conveyed the bleakness of the wilderness it failed to suggest the bright lights and vibrancy of the city. I made another draft:

A further draft design this time with a greater emphasis on colour and city lights

The above design was created with all the high-tech components of scissors, glue, laptop, and a computer printer and scanner! It is a real photo-montage, where the cutting and pasting was done by hand. Still I felt happy with the results. The image conveyed for me something of the brightness and life of the night, as well as the concealment, shadows and foreboding sense of darkness. It also mixed medieval ancient iconography with contemporary photography. A mixture that spoke deeply to my inner being as a post-modern Western Christian, who lived in multiple cultural worlds. I inhabit the countryside of my home village, but also the night lights of my city Sheffield. I am also a man who claims to follow a deeply historical religious faith with ancient rituals and practices. Yet who finds the arena for living out this faith to be the fast-paced, technological and digital global society of the 21st Century. I sent this image to Jim who had generously agreed to work on composing a drawn and ‘painted’ (in Photoshop) image of the final design.

The next stage was to reduce the dimensions of the above design to the blog banner specs.

Draft 3 of my webpage banner design in 200x700 pixels - Night, city, dark, light, ancient, modern

At this point in the process artist and graphic novel, comic book illustrator, Jim Boswell took over the process. Within the space of a week or two, I recieved the following pencil drawings of his interpretation of the design.

J Boswell's pencils for Dark Nights White Soul banner

I was thrilled with Jim’s interpretation and design. The next stage, as is customary in comic book illustration, was to finish the pencils and complete them in ink.

J Boswell's Dark Nights White Soul banner inks

Ultimately, the final result can be seen above on the webpage banner. There are different figures in the picture. St John of the Cross is in the left-hand corner of the design. His book The Dark Night of the Soul is a very important inspiration for me in putting together this blog.

In the right hand corner is the skull. In ancient iconography the skull and crossbones represented death and were often portrayed beneath the feet of Christ at the bottom of the cross. Christ’s death on the cross Christians believe defeated the powers of death over human kind. It is also a fact that the crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth was described in the written documents of the Gospels to have taken place outside the city of Jerusalem on a hill called – Golgotha, which means the place of the skull.

The skull in the picture also represents the fact that in nature and life, death and dying, especially dying to selfish desires and behaviour, can often lead to the release of the natural world and the spiritual world into New Life. Death therefore, is not so much an enemy, but an ally. For example, as the season of summer ends, the green, vibrant leaves begin to decay, crumple and turn yellow, brown in colour at the approach of autumn. Autumn tenderly invites us to transition from the warmth and light of summer to the ultimate deathly dark and cold season of winter. So, during the icy chills of winter nature experiences a time of dying back, grief and loss prepares the way for a new burst of life in Spring. Seen in this light death to self can be experienced as a friend, not wanting to destroy us, but to free us from attachments to objects, people, relationships, substances and ideas that actually entrap and imprison us.

Depicted on the crucifix is, of course, Jesus of Nazareth, the founder and central figure of the Christian faith. The historical persona Christian’s believe to be the Son of God or Christ.

Next to the cross, are the calming and reflective figures of Mary the mother of Jesus, John the disciple and two other women friends of the Palestinian Jewish man Jesus (perhaps Mary Magdalene and another). They mourn the loss of their son, friend and teacher in the darkness. Their faces and lives are illuminated only by the flickering of candles. Jim has captured the Eastern features and dark hair of these figures perfectly in his drawing. The figures quietly worshipping in brown cloaks remind me of so many women and the occassional younga man, I have met over the years who grieve silently for lost sons and daughters, husbands, brothers, sisters, parents, family or friends by lighting a candle in a peaceful and dark temple, synagogue or church.

The moon represents the primeval symbolism of night in the human subconscious. Night, a place and time of shadows and hauntings, quiet and cool, darkness and reflection – the time nuns and monks pray. The moon of course is a light with the partial reflected light of the sun, which has disappeared from sight.

Are there parallels today with the eclipsing of the Christian religion in public life by the religious ‘darkness’ of the Enlightenment?

Is God still shining light on us by reflected rays of sunshine from the moon and stars?

Are we having to learn how to walk in the darkness of faith as God seems to have at least become concealed, if not disappeared from ordinary life?

I hope you like it.

Thanks to Jim Boswell for his artistry, efficient work and time while cooperating on this project. For more information on Jim’s services and art, please see: http://www.jimmibo.co.uk/comics.htm

If you wish to visit his blog: http://jimboswell.blogspot.com/

or contact him for estimates, quotations, prices at: artwork@jimmibo.co.uk

Posted in Art/Pop Art, Journal, Journies, Life, Spirituality | Tagged art, Banner, comic, Dark Night of the Soul, Dark Nights White Soul, Darkness, illustration, Jim Boswell, moon, new artists, Saint John of the Cross | Leave a Comment »

Spiritual Temperaments – The Ascetic (4 of 9)

April 18, 2010

Saint Anthony the Great (c.251-356)

Asceticism has usually been associated with the harsh discipline of religious monks from various traditions or denominations, and also with pioneering religious figures such as John the Baptist or Elijah the Prophet (often portrayed together in Eastern Orthodoxy iconography). Of course, ascetic practice – that is the practice of denying the body pleasures and comforts – is not just limited to the religious domain, many athletes and military personnel also practice self-denial to aid them in the achievement of their goals. Perhaps, where religious asceticism differs is that the physical denial is intended to go hand-in-hand with a growing spiritual development, away from the love of self toward the love of others be they God or one’s neighbour or even one’s enemy.

A wonderful, if sometimes eccentric compendium of stories about human beings taking upon themselves extreme asceticism can be found in the Penguin Classic book translated and introduced by Sister Benedicta Ward – The Desert Fathers – Sayings of the Early Christian Monks. The work collects many tales, sayings and anecdotes about the lives of the Christian monks who lived in the Egyptian desert in the third, fourth and fifth centuries of the Common Era.

The stories of the Desert Fathers are sources of inspiration, humour and awe. The men (and women) who practiced such extreme asceticism, living lives of incredible simplicity and purity in the harsh conditions of the Egyptian desert offers us written verbal icons of what the human spirit and body is capable of in devotion to God and to one another. The monks often ate very little, limiting their diet to simple soup, bread and salt water. In one story a monk overcomes his desire to eat a cucumber by hanging it above him in his cell! At the same time, the monks often practiced night prayer and vigils by staying awake most of the night in worship and prayer to God. Most of us today would find such practices unbearable and yet, if we are to believe the ancient stories of the Desert Fathers and Mothers, these people developed a whole new ascetic form of life and community through making routine such behaviour.

Perhaps, for me as someone who admittedly struggles with asceticism, there are wonderful tales within the compendium that talk of the older monks helping the younger monks to gain an insight into the importance of not judging one another, mercy and grace. In such examples, the extreme austerity of the desert disciples’ lives is mixed with a deep awareness of their own shortcomings and struggles with sin, and therefore an attitude of great compassion with those who also battle with personal failings, spiritual attacks and worldly temptation.

One such story follows:

A brother who was hurt by another brother went to the Theban Sisois and said, “I want to get back at a brother who has hurt me.”

The hermit begged him, “Don’t do that, my son, leave vengeance in the hands of God.”

But he said, ” I can’t rest till I get my own back.”

The hermit said, “My brother, let us pray.” He stood and said, “O God, we have no further need of you, for we can take vengeance by ourselves.”

The brother heard it and fell at the hermit’s feet, saying, “I won’t quarrel with my brother any longer; I beg you to forgive me.”

Page 173, The Desert Fathers – Sayings of the Early Christian Monks

Asceticism attracts and empowers many people to simplify their lives and set aside time and energy to worship God in a life without external distractions. For most of us a degree of asceticism will help us to overcome selfish habits and free us to make the most of the good gifts we have received in life, often which we can overlook when we become deeply involved with worldly fashions, trends and pressures to conform to society’s (and Church’s) expectations of the ‘good life’. Aceticism offers a pathway to liberation through simplicity and physical self-denial. Bishop Kalistos Ware wrote in his book The Orthodox Way, that the ancient Christians talked about denying the ‘flesh’ – that is the fallen, selfish, inward directed craving of the soul out of harmony with God – in order to win a ‘body’ the good, wonderful, created, physical gift to people, which God always intended us to be free to enjoy.

The ascetic’s mantra might well be – “Deny the flesh, to gain a body.”

Posted in Journal, Journies, Life, Nature, Psychology, Spirituality | Tagged Ascetic, Christianity, desert, Desert Fathers, monk, purity, quiet, simplicity, St Anthony, wilderness | Leave a Comment »

Spiritual Temperaments- Traditionalism (3 of 9)

April 15, 2010

He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me." Luke 22:19

In his helpful book on nine different kinds of spiritual temperament - Sacred Pathways, Christian author Gary Thomas describes a third category of people whom he calls: Traditionalists. He writes:

‘Traditionalists are fed by…the historic dimensions of faith: rituals, symbols, sacraments, and sacrifice. These people tend to have a disciplined life of faith. Some may be seen by others as legalists, defining their faith largely by matters of conduct…Traditionalists have a need for ritual and structure. The contemplative’s unstructured “prayer of the quiet” would be confusing and fairly un-fulfilling to them.’ (Page 24)

Thomas identifies 3 distinct aspects to the traditionalist way of life:

Ritual (or liturgical pattern)
Symbol (or significant image)
Sacrifice

The three different facets of the traditionalist approach are physical ways of representing spiritual realities. (Page 73)

A resurgence of interest in traditionalist spirituality can be found in the recent popularity of Celtic spirituality, New Monasticism and the Rule of Benedict. The Northumbria Community are one example of a contemporary community that practices and encourages associate members to regularly pray the Office during the day. They divide each day by stopping, recollecting and praying at specific times - morning (matins), noon, evening and Compline. These prayer times are practised together at their community house in Northumbria, but associates also follow this rule, wherever they may be in the world by using the Northumbria Community’s Prayer Book and guided readings – Celtic Daily Prayer.

The Rule of Benedict , is a medieval book written by Saint Benedict of thoughts and guidance on the monastic life that has influenced most religious orders in Western Europe. It has received popular interest due to the 2005 television programme The Monastery, which followed three nonreligious men in their thirties and one older retired man experiencing a month long retreat at the Benedictine monastery Worth Abbey in England.

A helpful book inspired by the Abbot of Worth Abbey’s experiences with guiding nonreligious people through retreat at the monastery is Finding Sanctuary – Monastic Steps for Everyday Life. Abbot Christopher Jamison refers to many modern peoples’ frustration and disasitisfaction at their lives being so busy. He then sets out seven monastic steps based on the Rule of Benedict which he believes can help the modern person remedy the busy distraction of their contemporary lives. They are:

Silence
Contemplation
Obedience
Humility
Community
Spirituality
Hope

Thomas in his book provides helpful questions to discern whether you are a traditionalist. Giving yourself a grade between 5 and 1 for each question – five being very true and one being not true at all.

I sense God most intimately when I take part in a style of worship that returns me to childhood memories. Traditions and rituals touch my soul more than anything else.
I believe that an emphasis on individual self-expression within the church can be detrimental to peoples’ spiritual well-being. Christianity is about being part of a community and therefore our faith should be expressed as corporate worship.
Tradition and history are both words that appeal to me.
I would enjoy taking part in a formal liturgy or prayer-book service. I like to remind myself of my beliefs and spiritual loyalties by placing symbols in my car, house and workplace. I also feel that the religious calendar is important for me and my family. I like to follow the different seasons and celebrations of my faith throughout the year.
A book such as Celtic Daily Prayer would interest me.
I enjoy developing my own personal daily rituals for prayer, meditation, study, and spending time alone or with friends.

Once again the higher the score the more your temperament fits the traditionalist description.

(Sacred Pathways, page 92-3)

http://www.cloistersonline.com

http://www.northumbriacommunity.org/

http://www.findingsanctuary.org/index.htm

http://www.worthabbey.net/bbc/

Posted in Journal, Journies, Life, Psychology, Spirituality | Tagged Ancient, Celtic Daily Prayer, Christianity, Christopher Jamison, church, Finding Sanctuary, Gary Thomas, God, New Monasticism, personality, Post modern, religion, Rule of Benedict, Sacred pathways, Spirituality, Temperament, The Monastery, traditional, traditionalist, worship | 1 Comment »

Dark Nights White Soul

Archive for the ‘Journies’ Category

Wrestling failure – slowly coming to understand its treasures

Cold Desert – raw, lonely, pure, beautiful

The Power of Less – Blogging, living and monasticism

Listening to the quiet, burning desire to be authentic

‘We simply went out looking for the lost and the dying’ – Spiritual Temperaments (6 of 9): Caring for the poor and marginalised

Keeping Quiet

Designing Banner Art: Creativity + Collaboration

Spiritual Temperaments – The Ascetic (4 of 9)

Spiritual Temperaments- Traditionalism (3 of 9)

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